socialy retarded

Enlightenment comes at a price……

Posted on 19. Dec, 2006 by Derrick in Random Ramblings

So. one of those surveys got me thinking about relationships. What made me who I am today and who has gotten me to my 26th new years eve. Some New Years have been more memorable, some not, but one thing I know is that my 26th New Years is going to be different. Not different in what I’m going to do, because god knows I’m sure I’ll be drunk, dancing and generally making an ass of myself. Different because of who I am.

Life makes you go through moments of stillness like the slow rolling flow of a lazy river, then suddenly transforms to a roaring current taking us to our precipice of existence. Sappy, I know, but water-shed moments bring change, clarity, and define what makes your character. I admit that sometimes that definition and change is not sometimes for the good. Change creates scars, scars that make you jaded. Scars also bring enlightenment. What you do with that information will make you the human being you are. Would you have the courage to admit your own faults and take responsibility for your own actions or blame society for wronging you?

“Enlightenment is man’s emergence from self imposed immaturity for which he himself was responsible. Immaturity and dependence are the inability to use one’s own intellect without the direction of another. One is responsible for this immaturity and dependence, if its cause is not a lack of intelligence or education, but a lack of determination and courage to think without the direction of another. Dare to know! is therefore the slogan of the Enlightenment.” – Immanuel Kant

Dare to know!

3 years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I stayed in a relationship that made me become a shell of myself. I was no longer ambitious, independent, or happy. I asked for a girls hand in marriage because I was afraid to be alone. Unfortunately, this is what makes most people get married…. Fear. Fear of not being loved. So I settled. The girl I married wasn’t what I wanted, but I was able to manage. Like a puzzle piece that didn’t just quite fit. What finally broke us up is irrelevant, but circumstances forced me to understand that I needed courage to be alone.

Women unfortunately perpetuate this cowardice in men by over valuing their position in humanities social order. I by no means intend to put women back in the kitchen. Women in my opinion have astonishing minds, but women’s perceived independence has made men no longer have the courage to be a bachelor. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Leykis 101. (though I do like that he is a defender of the male libido) I don’t think that guys need to mercessly use women like 1 ply toilet paper. I don’t vilify women as some sort of evil flesh eating disease. I love women. I love women so much that right after my marriage, I began another relationship. I know what you are saying, those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Which brings me to my point.

I’m enormously happy with the girl I’m currently dating (Summer). The reason why; I’m not terrified of her. I’m not terrified that she is going to leave me, cheat on me, or break my heart. Its not that I trust her, but I trust myself to handle whatever she throws at me. I’m not afraid to be alone and that makes us have a dazzling relationship. I’m scarred, and enlightened. My dependency bread contempt, but my independence has liberated me. I now have the courage to think on my own.

Unfortunately, I have to watch a friend go through what I went through. He is trying to make puzzle pieces fit. He may never know what is happening to him till it’s too late, and he will find himself with the other 53% of American men who married. In divorce. I can only hope that he finds enlightenment before she destroys him.

- D

Tags: relationships