socialy retarded

Your Prius is polluting my sensibilities.

Posted on 07. Nov, 2009 by Derrick.

During Halloween, of all times, I got into an eco-driven argument with a self proclaimed eco-friendly tree hugger. Like all eco-freaks he was a liberal eco-wienie that clearly wore his heart on his sleeve.  The conversation started when the effete snobbish Prius owner pointed out that his hybrid was better than my poor Honda Civic. I calmly pointed out that he purchased a vehicle with a larger carbon footprint than mine and he was simply a sheep for following the star fucking environmental Hollywood nazi’s.  I told him that he was a fraud and his choice was uninformed.  I also informed him that if he truly wanted to be eco friendly that he should commute to work on his bike like me.

Mr. Prius went into a triad, daring me to say more, rudely interrupting me, and making false statements. I thought at some point, after I questioned his manhood, that he was going to actually hit me. Just like religious zealots, eco-wienies have no cognitive dissonance. The possibility that Leonardo DiCaprio may be wrong, jesus, the humanity!

No one emits righteousness like an eco-yuppy behind the wheel of a hybrid. I had a hybrid owner almost run me off the road on a bike commute to just lean out of the window and yell “get on the sidewalk!”. I found it ironic that she was overweight and smoking, but she did remember the requisite Obama sticker on her bumper. I can only imagine due to the inflated costs, Prius owners  must think the extra five grand they paid is worth every penny in terms of the smugness it affords them. But do hybrids actually benefit the environment? Recently a report was published from CNW marketing research pitting a Hummer vs the Prius. The report, titled “Dust to Dust,” was cited in a March 2007 editorial in the Recorder, a student newspaper at Central Connecticut State University. The report goes on to say that you would be better off buying a Hummer than to buy a Prius.

Now I’m not going to quantify my argument by stating you would be better off buying a Hummer. I think that premonition is a bit of a stretch, but Later I’d like to make a more apples-to-apples comparison. Mr Eco-fraud claimed during our argument that I had no basis for calling him out, so I wanted to bring some facts to the table. Shed some light on his ignorance.

The nickel for the Nickel Metal Hydride(NiMH) Battery array, for instance, is mined in Sudbury, Ontario, and melted at nearby Nickel Centre, just north of the province’s massive Georgian Bay.

Toyota buys about 1,000 tons of nickel from the facility each year, ships the nickel to Wales for refining, then to China, where it’s manufactured into nickel foam, and then onto Toyota’s battery plant in Japan.

That alone creates a globe-trotting trail of carbon emissions that ought to seriously concern everyone involved in the fight against global warming. All told, the start-to-finish journey travels more than 10,000 miles — mostly by container ship, but also by diesel locomotive.

But it’s not just the clouds of greenhouse gases generated by all that smelting, refining, manufacturing and transporting that worries green activists. The 1,250-foot-tall smokestack that spews huge puffs of sulfur dioxide at the Sudbury mine and smelter operation has left a large swath of the surrounding area looking like a surreal wasteland.

On the perimeter of the area, skeletons of trees and bushes stand like ghostly sentinels guarding a sprawling wasteland. Astronauts in training for NASA actually have practiced driving moon buggies on the suburban Sudbury tract because it’s considered a duplicate of the Moon’s landscape.

According to the National Renewable Energy lab, the Prius contains 38 NiMH batteries connected in a series. The extra weight caused by this array has also been researched by Carnegie Mellon (one of the largest university-based environmental education and research centers in the U.S.)

“……. In contrast, a PHEV battery pack may contain 3–30kWh and weigh 30–300 kg plus the additional vehicle structural weight required to carry these batteries, and the vehicle must carry this weight even after the battery is depleted. Additional battery weight decreases the attainable efficiency in miles per kWh in CDmode as well as miles per gallon in CS-mode (once the battery is depleted to its lower target SOC). Thus, while increased battery capacity extends AER, it decreases efficiency in both CD- and CSmodes.”

But of course, environmental devastation of Canada’s pristine land is a small price to pay for a pious gesture in support of environmentalism.

Toyota does admit that because the Prius’ engine and battery are relatively complex, assembling the hybrid requires more energy than making a similarly sized nonhybrid vehicle. But the company has never quantified that energy premium. In order to do an apples-to-apples comparison, let’s pit the Prius against a car more its size. My car. The Honda Civic. (Caution Science and Math ahead)

According to the federal government’s 2008 fuel economy guide (PDF), a Prius averages 46.5 miles per gallon (assuming half of a driver’s time is spent on city streets and half on the highway). Beyond 172,500 miles, then, the Prius will consume 3,710 gallons of gas. Each gallon contains approximately 124,000 BTUs of energy, so that translates into 460 million BTUs’ worth of burned fuel. But it takes 113 million BTUs of energy to make a Toyota Prius. The Prius has consumed the equivalent of 1,000 gallons of gasoline before it reaches the showroom floor. Think of it as a carbon debt — one you won’t pay off until the Prius has turned over 46,000 miles or so. The Prius will have to go 100,000 miles to achieve the same carbon savings as my 5 year old little Honda.

The scales could definitely tip in favor of my used Honda if you put the $14,000 you saved (blue book on my Honda is 8k) toward making some critical technological upgrades in your house—for example, converting your appliences to EnergyStar or buy some solar panels and get “off the grid”. The average American household uses about 600 watts on average. Over the course of 24 hours, you need 600 watts * 24 hours = 14,400 watt-hours per day. That’s a solar panel that measures about 285 square feet. That would cost around $16,000 right now.

You could use the money saved to buy yourself a top of the line commuter-bike with all the bells and whistles. Your carbon debt would be ZERO. I’ve calculated that over the time I’ve commuted on my bike I’ve saved over 4,000 miles or the equivalent of 120 gallons of gasoline (given the average mpg my Civic gets).

My Eco-conversant friend managed to get out, through his red-faced shrieking that, it was too much of an inconvenience to commute on his bike. It was to long (11 miles one way), and he would have to get up to early (5am). If he was that much of an environmentalist, no amount of inconvenience should stop him from his ultimate goal, saving the environment. He is a fraud.

That is the real reason for this blog, this was not ment as an indictment of the Prius. I actually don’t care at all if you buy a Prius. If your reasons are for the tax break in 2006, I get that. If it was for the economical gas savings, I get that also. What I dislike is the hand wrangling, soap box preening, holier than thou eco-cunt that claims that her over priced baboons ass for a car is better than mine.

I quietly go about doing my part to help the environment, I don’t make a fuss about it, nor do I command other people to follow my example. Just like my religious beliefs, I have no intentions of preaching to the masses.

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Boulder, the T-bagging capital of the world

Posted on 18. Aug, 2009 by Derrick.

This is Classic!

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Adopt-a-Government

Posted on 10. Apr, 2009 by Derrick.

It’s time to do the time honored tradition of paying taxes. I’ve in the past had to pay, and in true form, waited till a couple of days before April 15th to file. Since I’m single, I own no property, I have no dependents (unless you count my Labrador), and I make enough to be in a higher tax bracket, I’ve paid what some people live off annually. I’m not talking Wesly Snipes kind of money, but enough that when I look at my W2′s my first reaction is “what the fuck”.

This got me thinking about what MY money is going to. I’ll get to that, but first a little social behavioral lesson.

The term anthropomorphism is used to indicate the assignation of human characteristics and values to non-human, inanimate and even spiritual objects.

For example, we routinely refer to pets as our “Kids”. Some people name their cars or refer to their boats as “she”. We almost always assign to god/human-like characteristics and values to inanimate objects. By doing so, we attempt to create a human relationship that comes with a certain set of expectations on our part. We elevate our pet’s cognitive realization to “love” and depend on us in the same way a human child loves us. We love our gadgets and they in return perform for us.

In all these cases, anthropomorphous behavior is designed to foster emotional bonds and intimate relationships. We need the objects of our anthropomorphous behavior to be less distant and detached from us. We want to see them as we see ourselves, sharing similar environments, characteristics and values. The objects of our anthropomorphous behavior have traits and values like our own. Thus, when there is a close relationship, we can forgive any missteps or bad behavior because we are in effect, forgiving ourselves.

With that in mind, I’d like to propose to our current administration the Idea of “Adopt-a-Government”.
This is the proposal that we can as an individual “personalize” our taxes. For example, when doing my annual turbotax beer drinking session, I can “choose” percentages of where my taxes can go. Making a section of governmental subsidy part of my persona allows me to socially excuse our government’s ineptitude.
Some examples

1. Adopt-a-Highway (already in use)
2. Adopt-a-Park
3. Adopt-a-Navy ship
4. Adopt-a-politician (already in use)
5. Adopt-a-Cop car

And my favorite

Not only would you get to select the adopt-a-government of your choice, but you would receive updates from your selection via whatever social networking program you choose.

How fun would it be to be notified via Twitter or Facebook what stage your adopt-a-bomb is in. Or incredibly satisfying it would be to be sent an email with a “google maps” of where your adopt-a-bomb was exploded! I could add my adopt-a-bomb as one of my “top 8″ friends on Myspace! The possibilities are absolutely endless.

Adopt-a-government is the future, now only if I can Adopt-an-Obama.

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Fuckit lets Bailout

Posted on 11. Jan, 2009 by Derrick.

That’s right, the porn industry needs a bailout. Well, not realy but porn icon Lary Flynt thinks so.

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in the statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

Word Larry, we need to get those suffering ammericans some jerk material!

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I want to blame someone, anyone, maybe I should blame you?

Posted on 13. Dec, 2008 by Derrick.

With the new auto industry bailout looming, and the current bank bailout, I wanted to delve a bit into our current economic crisis.

I’ve had the unique experience of witnessing the economic downturn from the front lines. From my vantage I’ve been able to understand for better or worse why our society has a complete lack of responsibility. No one wants to take responsibility, but they sure want a hand out when the shit hits the fan.

An economic crisis is not a new thing, and it always comes after times when banks get over-confident and start taking absolutely unnecessary risks, like lending money to people and companies who potentially are not capable to pay it back. Loans should be calculated, but instead over-confident banks sell loans they have no business selling.

Capacity to repay, is completely ignored by the banks, they don’t verify income. Just as it was 5 years ago when unethical mortgage brokers approved subprime mortgages. And since Banks don’t ask for any proof of income, the customer can throw out any number they think will work for them.

When the application will ask if they rent or own and how much they pay. If their name is not on the mortgage, they can state zero. If they pay $1,000 in rent, they can say $500. This is how Ms. Homemaker can walk into Best Buy and fill out an application and claim her husband’s income but not his mortgage payment. It’s irresponsible for the bank (HSBC) to approve this credit limit regardless of her credit score. Only if her husband’s name is co-signed is this a viable banking practice.

It’s somewhat understandable that the Auto industry has taken a 15 year hiatus from making a viable product when they can over build, over charge, and under perform their overseas competitors, just to have the banking industry pick up the slack with bad loans.

Hyundai is a perfect example of the evolution for our beleaguered auto industry. They not only have designed more efficient vehicles, industry leading warranties, top of the line designs, but they are affordable. When I visit the top 3’s websites, the majority of their vehicles are in the $34k-$50, while Hyundai’s are from $15-$30. US’s medial house-hold income is only $54k a year, but I consistently see $40-$50k in auto loans on consumer’s credit reports. I review hundreds of credit reports a day and this is the norm not the exception.

Ford, Chrysler, and GM made their car and now they need to drive it. Instead of making a car that can run 36 miles to the gallon for $10k, they made the H2 for $50k. The auto industry banked on the Banks being able to continue to lend to consumers. Banks can’t lend to sub-prime consumers anymore, by 2005, that was 18% of all auto sales. And the automakers’ own subsidiaries offered low-interest financing that helped move cars off dealers’ lots. Neither of which the auto makers can bank on to sell cars any more.

Last but not least, our current economic downturn needs to be blamed on the consumer. Isn’t it the American dream to want a better life for oneself? Wanting more possessions, bigger houses, faster cars, it’s American and it’s perfectly understandable. On the other hand, people too should have been more calculative about the risks they are taking. It’s always a good idea to think before giving into the constant brainwashing by banks about new loans, mortgages, car financing, and credit cards. If it’s necessary, and more importantly, if one can really afford it. It seems a lot of people have left this calculation undone.

What is my solution? Absolutely nothing. Don’t bail out the Banks, Don’t bail out the Auto industry, and for god sake, don’t bail out the consumers. Would that put the US into a depression? Probably.

It would however promote good Banking practices. The only surviving banks would be the conservative banks that shied away from predatory lending. That would provide our economy with banking leaders with a level head. Not just ponying up more money for people that already made poor decisions.

It would also promote better products to the consumer in the way of good auto makers. We may lose GM, Ford, or Chrysler, but the surviving companies would provide a product that consumers could afford and more importantly want.

Lastly, doing nothing would promote consumers to practice fiscal responsibility. Make them live in an apartment for a couple years before they can buy a new house. Make them drive their overpriced gas guzzler till they pay it off. Make them pay off their revolving credit lines before they can buy that new plasma TV.

My solution may not be immediate, it may not be popular, it may not even be right. But what it would do is make everyone accountable.

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The Nidgie reins!

Posted on 05. Nov, 2008 by Derrick.

Yes, calling the president-elect a nidgie is racist. But, it’s a bit of an inside joke in my house and because I’m socially offensive, I get to say it.

The Nidgie reins!

Imagine the irony, when the “white house” was commissioned in 1792, the land was ceded from two slave states, Virginia and Maryland. Not only that, but the majority of the labor was provided from black men, slave and free.
I bet dollars to donuts that the slaves that built the white house would have never have imagined a black man sitting in the oval office instead of cleaning it (we now have Mexicans for that)

Don’t get me wrong, I think Obama is going to do great things for our country. First and foremost wrestle our country away from the christian right wing wacko’s. If I have to live with another republican tell me what my moral compass needs to say, I think I may just give him/her a mushroom welt.

I also believe that Obama can restore some of Americas mystique with our foreign allies and foes.  “Coke me up Dubya” hasn’t exactly been the bastion of brilliance. At least Obama can speak without bobbing his skull like a bobble head.

I’m mostly Liberterian, but I’ve found myself recently leaning towards democrats. I think the country made the right decision (even though I voted for Bob Barr).

So, in honor of our new pres, I’m drinking Guinness tonight.

-    D

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